Reasons I decided to start a blog

People asked me to start a blog a while ago, and after blatantly ignoring their requests, I continued to post pictures of my culinary successes on Facebook regardless. Not very fair of me.

I don’t work well in the evening anyways. This gives me something to do after dinner when I am too lazy to do anything but type.

I am so tired of reading cooking magazines and watching cooking shows and having to figure out how to adjust my recipes for a pseudo-kosher kitchen, and I figured in the span of our 7,100,302 person planet, I can maybe find a few people  that have the same problem as me.

To clarify what I mean by pseudo-Kosher; I do not keep Kosher as understood by any non-Jews or religious Jews.

RJ

JGL

LD

AL

(Some Jewish celebrities)

I come across as ridiculous to both parties. It is only my own category of Kosherites who understand the logic behind this system. Let me explain the rules;

1 – No consumption or preparation of pork, shellfish or other blatantly un-kosher products….on our plates. See modern pseudo-kosher Jews like myself love bacon as much as the rest of you. We love it a lot. I could probably write a whole other blog on how much I love bacon, but I won’t because two blogs is too many.

blasphemy

I digress. We eat bacon and shellfish, but only when we’re at your house, a restaurant, and in our own houses on paper plates in the form of Chinese Food takeout. “That makes no sense!” you say, “You contradict your own beliefs!” you retort. “I don’t care, it’s tradition!” we collectively respond. As a result, my posts are not going to have any delicious bacon stuffed lobster tails (is that a thing? I feel like it should be a thing).

2 – No meat and dairy combined…on our plates. If you’ve already forgotten the logic behind this caveat please re-read rule number 1. This blog may move too fast for you if you did. “Ugh, that’s awful…pass,” you say. BUT WAIT. What this ends up meaning for you is healthier meat dishes; protein not cooked in butter, not stuffed with cheese, or topped with a cream sauce. I am in no way claiming to be anything close to a healthy cook, but if you want to justify your Kosherish choices using those excuses, those are pretty excellent ones. ALSO VEGETARIANS; dairy meals are ALL DAIRY. No meat products! Some items may even be, dare I say it, VEGAN (don’t hold your breath for those. Again, review rule 1 re: my thoughts on bacon). I also have a complicated relationship with vegetarians, as I am totally on board for having meatless meals, but I hate using fake/soy/imitation “meat”. If a meal is veggie, it’s because it tastes good on its own. Either way, meat/milk combinations are a no go.

no

Sorry Paula Dean, no buttery basted beasts here.

That basically covers it. I’m going to try to post one recipe/week if everything goes to plan. Hopefully you will actually come back next week and see what I have scrapped together.

I haven’t come up with a sign-off catchphrase yet.